Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
