I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
