i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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