she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize