This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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