I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
