Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
