Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
