How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
