Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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