I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize