just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
