I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize