No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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