How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
