he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
