i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
All I want is dick and wine.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
