A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
