Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
