When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Let's get the cat blown out
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
