I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Operation Purity has been aborted
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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