Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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