I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
