Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
