We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
