I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
someone owes me an orgasm
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
