I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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