I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
