I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
