Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You ate ashes out of my bong
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
