I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
