Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
