Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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