My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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