ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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