btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
