this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
