Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
