Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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