She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
