They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
