we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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