YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
