I want to stick my p in your. b.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
