Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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