Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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