stop calling my apartment porn island.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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