No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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