I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
