I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
