Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He better not be in your backpack
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
