I'm really into asian looking animals
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
