woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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