The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
