She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
