He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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