in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
