Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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