I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
