I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
