im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
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