I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
