Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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