5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
