I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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