Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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